Only Love Is Real

At this moment

2011-06-04T11:51:00.000-07:00

The spirituality was, is, will be.
But this moment for me is different..

No more quest for the unknown, so well known,
there will be other time to take that travel

time to think now is this,
if earth will hold its bliss,

if this dream theatre is gone,
five sensory circus forlorne,

green is grey,
humanity astray,

nothing more to say,
threat is anyday..

forget the internal thinking,
the mind and the body,
the souls and the energy,
without this earth,
they remain disembody

take up a spade, dig some earth.
bring a sapling, give a new birth

plant trees and more trees,
nothing but trees,
reproduce no babies,
but trees and just trees,

save my earth , save your earth,
let the surreal,
remain the livable.

Shift the consciousness

2010-08-29T08:46:00.000-07:00

We all are going somewhere,
or may be thinking of it,

sometimes going is easy and fun,

sometimes it is tough and just the boredom,

there are times, when the repetition rules,

and there is the same question,

going out of bed,going in the bed,

where and why do I go, is it really my destination?

then my friend, I will suggest you an adventure,

it does not cost much, for yourself to pamper,

travel inside, and on an unknown track,

start is just the moment that you start,

end is just the moment that you end,

the path is interesting and worth the investment.

go deep inside and learn to shift,

anytime to realize,

all that is not worth the sweat,

of all pains, the exert and fret,

you can just be light,

as you really are a light,

the denseness of this matter,

is really our choice,

turn the gear,

shift the consciousness,

get refreshed, bath in the light,

then get back, make the dense as bright...

Best wishes

Pseudo Spiritual Intellectual

2009-12-28T00:37:00.001-08:00

The winds may lie low, or may soar high,

The mast and the sails, they have fatigued of lifetimes,

Sail light and sail free,

Push the baggage into the sea,

Born in the morning, dead by the night,

Reborn everyday, in the same life.

Past was an illusion,

Future is delusion,

What does exist is,

Just the manifestation.

Some is the intent,

And some is the action,

Intertwined together,

Understand, only through cosmic divination.

Meditation brings,

Vivid images,

Of the regressed lives ?

No, of the kids fight..

Spiritualism took me,

Half way inside,

While I was to liberate,

The voices got me awake.

The fees to be paid,

The rent is due,

The business to be closed,

I am materialism’s residue.

Some day I will get together again,

Search the soul in some drawer,

Pack up for the remaining travel,

Merge into the consciousness much higher.

Go to some cave in Himalayas,

If the Himalayas will still exist,

Not if replaced by classy Meditation center,

Thousand dollars for a brief inside glimpse.

To believe or not to believe ?

2009-03-22T09:09:00.000-07:00

This is a big question for me.

My understanding is that what can be experienced can only bring the true knowledge.

I feel that I am on a spiritual path which can take me to broader understanding of the Nature and all the things comprising Nature. This will also lead me to the better understanding of humanity and also to self realization of a new God which may be different from external beliefs which I inherited from my religion and society.

Now I have limited time and efforts for meditation, I have limited time and efforts for contemplation, I have limited time and efforts for even the collation of the seemingly right information. I have accrued lot of information by reading books, but I have experienced very little. I have not experienced enough to say anything with certainty. When I try to be sure, I feel that i am applying lot of belief and very little experience of my own.

Now if I stop believing, I will not believe in spirituality, as I have never experienced spirit with my five senses. Also I do not have any other sensory capabilities other than normal five senses.
I will not believe in any God or Nature because, I have not experienced a consistent functioning of God.

If I do not believe, then I am nowhere. I am just a blank page with few lines scribbled on it. My experiences of the physical world does not let me relate with anything metaphysical. Some people say that one must learn from the experience of others. Then what about the self experience? I can learn anything and everything from others, so many knowledgeable people have existed in the world; they have told so many things, but they also talked of realizing by self experience.

I do not have the energy or inclination to become a Buddha. Then do I need to be contended with my half book knowledge, one quarter belief and one quarter experience?

I really do not know.

An ambitious man

2008-12-03T22:40:00.000-08:00

Past was good,
or was bad,
but there is always,
a better future...

thoughts & energies
all are focused,
how to make it,
better & better..

make it better,
a projected future,
from the lessons,
learned in the past..

I keep thinking,
while I am eating,
while I am working,
while I am driving,
while I am sittling idle..

little did I realise,
I never reached that future,
as future,
always remained a future,
and I have,
to make it better..

My time went past,
and so did the whole life,
and I kept watching it,
with one eye on future..

An ambitious man was I called,
so did I achieve,
heights of professional
and personal gains..

I was very successful,
in the eyes of others,
and so did i believe,
that I have got that I aspired..

One day I paused,
It was very bleak day,
depressing and dark,
I looked around,
I did not know anyone,
or did they know me,
my close ones,
had long past closed on me..

Life has passed,
and then i come to know,
all the fun,
all the love,
all the compassion,
all the relation,
they belonged to the present

The present,
which never was.

Lines withdrawn from blogs....2

2008-11-01T08:48:00.000-07:00

I wrote this in lighter vein on a blog in response to a story by blog author, where author had written about his/her first mountaineering expedition and the scaring heights.
-------------------------
Long Long Time back..

I was a paratrooper with special quality. I was a sniper too.

It was Far east and we were dropped from a Bf 109 german freighter in between the british bastion at 10000 feet in early morning darkness.

The parachutes were all german, heavy but reliable. There was no time to think, the order came from the commander " Go" and one had to jump.

I did visualize my God and jumped. Very soon I was floating on the clouds and started counting. At the count between 80 and 100, the parachute had to open, other wise I needed to pull the latch.

I reached at the count of 80 without much thought...the feeling was good , I was sailing with hands and legs open. 90..91..92..Ok sometimes it happens ..one has to wait till 100 and if it does not open, then count again upto 20..

Count of 100 passed and the there was no usual sound of air gushing in the soft cloth...I started counting again. I could see fellow paratroopers being pulled up one by one as their chutes were opening up. 15..16..17..adrenalin was rushing up now..something is not working..the worst nightmare of the paratrooper was coming true. 20..21..22..I pulled up the auxilliary latch. At least no more waiting now, ...My god..the latch and the nylon is not coming out with ususal hiising sound. I gave a slight twist and pulled again..Nothing..I was now losing my mind..Death was never so near..After repeated attempts..there was no success, this parachute has stuck!

I was loosing altitude very fast 6000..5800..5500...

Now the next thought was how to reduce the speed with which I strike the earth..With 1 g I was gaining 10 m speed every second...I tried to spread my hands and legs ...no use..wind drag was so high that I could not spread an inch..I was shooting like a bullet now..

My rifle without silencer was on pulled tight on my shoulder...suddenly a thought comes to my mind....With great effort I pulled the rifle and brought it to the front...the magazines were cosily strapped around the waist..I streched my hand and tried to pull out one magazine..now fitting magazine to the gun travelling in air at speed of 250 km per hour was a task which could happen only in a james bond movie...But with life in thin air...I could do that somehow..the click of trigger accepting the magazine brought me to back from losing consiousness.. I

I firmly held the rifle and put the butt on my stomach...took a shot at the earth and fired.

The force of 25 kg rocked my stomach..but with no resistance in air ..I was thrown aback..I fired again...my velocity has reduced ...I kept counting the shots..there were 36 shots inside...As soon I was with in 1000 feet..I shot more frequently...By the time I was in 100 feet of earth..my velocity was only 25 kms per hour...couple of more shots and I landed on a dense foliage of trees and vegetation...I broke my leg..my arm..my ribs...but I lived and survived..unfortuantely british found me..but they gave better treatment...

The days with Azad Hind Fauz are etched in my memory...It all happened in past lifetime..

:):)...read with a pinch of salt..so speaks the blog author...

Lines withdrawn from blogs...1

2008-11-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

Writing a new series of the lines I have withdrawn from blogs which turned out be not worthy..
-------------------------------------------------
My friend..

Trust you must first..
as you may later distrust..

your heart was broken..
but your soul did mature..

hope you realised..
that the love remains alive..

it is not the person..
and specific situation..

love exist in mine ..
and your consiousness..

Love you must...
and never kill your innocence..

as innocence is the nothing..
but the humanity that it is.

Alone

2008-08-01T03:32:00.000-07:00

People in homes,
In offices,

Travelling on Road,
On Air, On Sea,

All do feel
I am alone, I am alone

Talk talk, relate relate
Forget yourself for the time..

But again, the demon appears
Alone , alone, alone ,alone.

But how to fight, ones Own demon
Unknowingly created, with own psyche

Will offer a solution, though weird
Kill the psyche and all the demons

There is a bliss, being in a vegetable...
But then there are so many around,
And finally, you are not Alone.

Live with conviction..

2008-01-20T22:18:00.000-08:00

Looking back into the history of formation of Microsoft, following story emerges.

Paul Allen and Bill Gates have been working with Computer Center Corporation. In December 1974, Allen on his way to meet Gates, picked up currrent issue of Popular Electronics on which Altair 8080 picture was there with the headline "World's First Microcomputer Kit to Rival Commercial Models."

They both realized this a big opportunity as home computer market was to explode and there will be demand for software for running the new machines. Gates took a very bold and unconventional step. He had called MITS (Micro Instrumentation and Telemetry Systems), who were the manufacturer of Altair 8080. He informed them that he and Allen have developed a BASIC which can run on Altair. The truth was that they had not written a single line of code for Altair as they did not have Altair or the chip that ran the computer.

MITS Believed them and was interested in seeing their BASIC. Gates and Allen started working feverishly on the BASIC that they had promised. Eight weeks later, they were ready with a program which was to run on Altair for the first time. Allen visited MITS and the program worked perfectly the first time. MITS had a deal with Gates and Allen to buy the rights to their BASIC.

Gates was convinced that the software market had been born. Within a year, Bill Gates had dropped out of Harvard and Microsoft was formed."

Essentially Gates was convinced that a requirement is there and he can create a code for this requirement. I am sure it would have taken lot of internal strength to take this challaenge.
We all pass through these situations sometimes in life, where we do not have the right exposure but the gut feelings makes us take the challenge. This is what makes us different. The risk brings the rewards. It can bring failure also, but that failure is better than the mediocre success without much effort.

We have been given a life to live and experience...the success and failures shall go hand in hand...it is always good to live with convictions in hand and live it first hand. This will bring a satisfaction to the core and also enrich our soul.

Value of Life

2008-01-17T03:03:00.000-08:00

The darkness of the silent street...
the gushing cold wind making eerie sound...
The occupants of the village ...
sleep firmly ensconed...

he sits on the bench...
with little to hide...
emaciated...
but a life still inside..

wonder the value of life...
if its the value of clothes?
if its the value of freinds ?
if its the value of gains..

the helped is one...
who deserves help...
so those in need..
may compete to deserve...

the center is only one...
it is the self...
the other...
is only periphery...

where do I live...
and why do i ponder..
he who has this time..
is the one to be left behind..

think I must...
and write I must...
and act I must..

it is for us ..
to understand..
we can be the one...
on the bench.

The Ego and the Self Respect

2007-12-20T01:28:00.000-08:00

The ego is a so much talked about , some philosphers say that one should throw away ones ego. Some say that the moment you actually throw away your ego, you are dead. Because the ego is the basis of your whole persona.

I do not really know about philosphers....they keep writing out of their own experiences. I write out of my experience.

The ego which actually one has to throw away is the one which stops you from connecting with others. While walking in your office, you have smiled to a known person, the person did not return your smile, your ego is hurt. You have closed yourself for that person. Now you will open up only if that person comes to you and initiate a smile, or initiate a talk or conveys something good to you. This is the crux of the problem. The cobwebs formed by a prejudiced ego is really to demand the attention and to maintain in usual but wrongful terminology “Self Respect”

Now what is ‘Self Respect” ? Self respect arises out of believing in one self and is not affected by somebody else. Self respect will not build anybody’s ego.

Truly Ego is formed out of the conscious state of mind ever since we got into our senses as a child. True Ego is the awareness about oneself. I am aware about myself as a person, “ I am average looking”; “ I am friendly with all” ; “I am very smart” …all these are the awareness and opinions formed by Self which constitute the ego.

Now the ego which inhibits us, constrains us and close down our good self to be seen by others are only part information about self. We are made to feel through out mental conditioning. “ I am very important”; “ I am always judicious” ; “ I know the right way to communicate”. Once some one does not smile at you, you are thrown out of gear. You are not sure, if something is wrong with you. A hole is poked up in your false ego. Then you just reinforce that belief in your mind that “I am correct” and you would like to plug that hole by closing yourself to that person.

The problem is that you do not have the right sense of Self respect. A person who has true Self respect does not get hurt superficially by others. The true self respect is to understand that all are same and we are one out of the same. The belief has to be there about oneself, but the right belief is required. One has to understand that everyone is passing through the same school of life and there may in inclusions, omissions in anyone’s behaviour, communication, maturity …so many factors. So the smile that you could not solicit may be a part of any of these factors or else that person really does not like you. Everything is fine. You still are what you were. The society is not a mirror of your true self. Your internal belief is the true mirror.

A prostitute knows that there is no point in keeping a false ego. Many clients would not like her. But she can maintain the Self respect , so that she can live for the other day without closing herself for others.

A true saint or a truly knowledgeable person would not get his ego hurt if someone questions his knowledge. If the knowledge has arisen from his with in, then he knows that the knowledge is true. If that person has accumulated second hand information from books then he can get in doubt. Because there is no belief…there is no Self respect…

People

2007-12-06T08:04:00.000-08:00

I see only two types around me i.e. everywhere in black and white.

The brave and the timid

The expressive and the zombies.

The alive and better be dead.

If you are first category..better write something on blog and then leave...
If you are second category, then I need not ask you anything...

If you are from a grey area...then there is a task for you...go and find out who you are????

Nothing does stick...for the young and the weary..

2007-11-13T08:07:00.000-08:00

I will write on situations of life….my experience …(so that nobody pokes holes in generalizations)….coz what I experience is Meri Marzi…

There were times when I was very young…..I had been into very sticky situations….I will not delve into the specifics as specifics of my life will be useless to you. ( they generally are except for few people who relate with you), only the experiences are useful..

Right now I am hearing this song being played somewhere…Woh pehli baar jab ham mile…, I had purchased my first computer then …I used to play this song on that…Sorry…songs take me away…I cant help it…

So sticky situations howsoever bad it may be never last... The solution or the opportunity is just around the corner…one has to be patient and be prepared to hold the opportunity.

Yes there are times when the situations are much more sticky when it is a matter of life and death…Well J then life itself is not so sticky….am not talking of those situations for now..

So no help was around…the days were as monotonous as ever…the change was far away…..hoping against the hope….there was no way that the situations could be changed.. I was completely stuck and stuck….

And guess what happened….

nothing great happened …..I kept stuck for long and very long…. …no change happened so very soon…I just had to keep patience…I started reading books (fiction that time)and living in other people’s lives…early morning started with a book….work…lunch ..book ..work…dinner…book…

I kept reading and reading…I was not living my life….but it helped me….I could live in some other world…and kept my mind alive and intact. This was my way to find a solution…there are many different ways…( don’t ever take up addiction on alcohol/drugs…you will never get out of that)

So if you get stuck (I am using You, but it is not intended to preach, only explain) .…then do not loose patience…..live in what is around ..or what you can find around to live with…and just hope and believe….Believe ….Yes it is very strong word…You can not hope if you do not believe…believe that things are going to be fine with you…You are so special to God…or to Nature….or whomsoever you believe in…Life is a precious gift given to you…and above all…. the gift of Life is given to you and is not affected/dependent on the People….Circumstances….Situations….Not even your parents, siblings, spouses, children, friends, acquaintances…NO ONE…no one but the One who has given you the gift can only have control on your gift…It is yours and only yours to cherish.

So that is it... I am here to tell you that, You are going to Get what you want….have patience…everything will fall in right place and right time…till that time..Enjoy and live in peace.

To the One Who Understands

2007-11-09T10:27:00.000-08:00

As we travel down the lanes, past the big and small houses, some congested and dirty and some beautiful and exotic streets of life, we look forward more to relate with the like minds...

Like minds are the ones who understand you without much of efforts and who relate to you with equal ease, the common background in culture, religion, region etc does help but it is not the only thing that matters... There are times that travelling in some odd country, the passenger sitting next to you may be a person who may be very much known to you...

The design of life existence would not have known any boundaries..

Unfortunate part is that we are tied up with so many prejudices of a society which is ruled by scholars of the ethical and non ethical, the sensible and insensible that we never get the courage to relate to the right people...the projection of self on others and perceptions of self for others are so central thoughts that the urge to relate dies down in fighting these inhibitions..

Here ego plays a big role..living in an environment where everyone has so much of ego in terms of , I am meant fot this work...I am meant to behave like this..I am meant to be treated like this...the ego boundaries are so much tight and inflexible that they do not allow any other person to enter your periphery of personality without valid reason...so even I would like to enter and relate to a personality, I will hesitate that I shall not be taken as intruding in the private space of the other... The more we advance forward the more these boundaries are getting reinforced...

The loosening of the egos are important for everyone..the relating shall go above the specifications of the regional and cultural backgrounds.. the relating and feeling shall happen in every walk of life.

We all work in small societies..our offices and colleagues are around..how many of the people around try to know you personally ..very few, we spend so much of time with all the people in office and we know them the least...this is a degenerative environment..

Leaving alone the hypocrisy...I take resolve that I would like to connect more and more with the like minded...and would like to loosen my ego to allow others to step in any time and say Hello.

Lone Man and the Road

2007-11-09T10:16:00.000-08:00

There was a lone man going alone on a winding rural road along the sea. He was walking in a pensive mood with a loose bag hung on his shoulder. He had been walking for a long time and there was no place to rest in sight. The bag was heavy and heat was tolerable, but it was too warm. The man was thinking how he may eat some food and drink some water and take rest under some shed. He had set out to sell sea shells with special identities, but there has been not many buyers lately. The money from the last good sale couple of days back was running thin to buy today's food. Children and joggers who were the regular customers have dwindled due to holidays, they had gone to bigger and more beautiful beaches.

The man had recently read in some old piece of newspaper about lateral thinking. He started thinking whether it was the right thing that he had set out to;

sell the sea shells, may be some other goods might have been better..
sell the shells in this part of country , may be some other place would be better..
sell the shells and not to dive and find the shells where locals use to pay some money to divers to find the shells,
sell the shells at appropriate time, some other time of day would be better,

The man was getting restless and his thinking had started turning towards the self pity, thinking about the others who had set out together with him couple of years back were selling better products, like sea food, prawns, crabs, etc, there were others who had started repairing boats and were owning few boats now. Suddenly the man realised that like usual self pity is not coming up over his stomach to his heart and thru his spine over to his head and then wetting of eyes...the stomach is just hungry, the mind is not in frenzy, it is just not thinking, the eyes are also as dry as they were ever.

Then he thought that self pity has stopped to pity on him. He was very neutral knowing the fact that he is just here where he is walking. The man smiled and was slightly amused to discover the new fact about himself.

Two big car approached and some young girls and boys came out. They were the kind of happy go lucky people who had found this place just while driving and thought of stopping by. The Man thought that they would not be the usual customers who may buy shells. But he thought of trying, the boys shrugged when he asked if they would like to see shells, the girls showed some interest, but then they thought where to hold and keep these shells and finally where to display, there own rooms were so shabby that shells will add to more unused items. They also scorned this man who was a bit out of romantic situation, they turned around their back.

The Man walked by and continued on the road. The road had been watching this man for long and could not hold itself. It asked this man," Where do you think you are going? Are you sure about the way?" The man was not surprised, the nature had spoken to him before a few times and he replied, "I think I know, there is a Shack few hundred yards away and some rides are there, I may find some kids to sell these shells" The road told him," I know about that shack since I pass thru that shack, but it is deserted now, the owner shifted from there as there was not much business here, what would you do now?"

The Man was now in a fix, the last inhabitated place was miles away and this shack also is not there, he stopped still and started thinking, his strength was also falling, he asked the Road," Can you help?What do I do now?"

The road did not reply immediately, then it said" Do you remember last year when you got big sale of shells nearby on this beach,? You had lot of money for a few days." The man said,"yes I do"

Road: What did you do with that?
Man: I ate good food for man days, I built my wood house and I drank good wine in that.
Road: What else, you still had money left
Man: Yes, i went to good girls in village pub and had fun
Road: Still you had money
Man: Yes, I gave it to village grocer to keep it for me as saving
Road: But there was some more
Man : Yes, I loaned it to my friend who wanted to buy a better fishing net
Road: So you spent all ?
Man :Yes I could do what ever was justified to do with that money
Road: Did you find some hungry children on the beach when you had good money
Man: Yes they are always there and are ever hungry
Road: Were you approached by one man who was blind and could not find way to his son's house in another village
Man: Yes , I think someone helped him
Road: Did you meet one Dog which had broken its leg and kept continuosly growling in pain? Man: Yes, I shooed him away
Road: Did you meet one staranger who was in pain as he had lost his business and told you his story?
Man: Yes the losers always like strangers to tell their story ..( LOL)
Road: Did you meet one woman who wanted to buy medicine but could not for her father?
Man: Yeah, the pharmacy man would have helped her .

The Road said, " Look, God had given you many chances to improve your life but you lost all" Man was truly surprised," How come , God gave me the chances?"

Road told to Man," Look , the nature of which you are a part does not work on Ayn Rand's Obectivism. It neither works on Gandhi's socialism. Nature works on passion and empathy to your fellow humans, as all of you are derived from the same universal consiousness, when you miss out to see the pain of other person, the Universe misses out to see your pains also...If you earn 100 bucks always try to find how you can give 5 bucks out to a genuine needy person. Do not tell or think or recall or feel glorified after giving...you have helped and you have moved forward. This 5% good is what it comes back to you after reverberating into this nature and with bigger force and magnitude.

The Man could understand something...but it was too late...He thanked the Road and slept empty stomach for that night. But his mind was silent and there was not hunger, as he could understand...